Is this a sign?

So, im wondering if some almighty power is trying to tell me something, yet another set back today... i guess they make it hard for a reason. My Psych eval doctor just called to tell me that the 2 hour test to make sure I'm not crazy (or bulimic, anorexic, a murderer, or suicidal) is off! apparently hes charging 1020.00$ for it and insurance only cover about 225$ sooo.... that's a no, I'm sorry sir but I'm not gonna pay you a billion dollars to put me through strenuous testing for 3 hours!!! So, instead I'm hoping in my car driving all the way to Tennessee (AGAIN) to take the test there, where it only cost 250$ still not covered by insurance but way better than the alternative... My appointment is on the 24th i probably wont be saying to much until that's over, so again... Wish me luck!

P.S. Value options insurance SUCKS!

So Im Kind Of Feeling Stupid

When i first started this, i had my heart set on lap band... I knew the band was for me, all i heard was rave review... i was like skip the support groups and authorization, BAND ME NOW! but Ive come to realize weight loss surgery is no joke... i was just looking through my book that the surgeons office so generously supplied and i must say, i stopped loving the band, and started looking into the bypass. At the support groups, the more people i heard talking about the band, the more afraid of it i got. Now my mother is an APN, shes seen almost all the medical crap you can throw at her, so when i first told her i wanted to get the band she was hesitant, but when i started leaning to bypass she said flat out NO! the more i research and look into it, the more i want the bypass... so now i think Ive finally made my decision, but i feel really stupid for changing my mind so suddenly... I really wanted to be a band girl, but i guess WLS is a truly personal decision that you have to make for yourself and yourself alone... now all i have to do is convince my mom.... wish me luck there...

You Know What I Miss...

about being slim? SHOPPING! Why did it become a thing of nightmares suddenly...

i used to be able to go in Charlotte Russe, Wet Seal, and Forever 21 without a problem, i didn't have to hide my face in shame... Now when i go in there, its for shoes and accessories and the people working there no it... I feel like a silent alarm goes off every time i enter a store that isn't Ashley Stewart or Lane Bryant! My new years resolution this upcoming year is to make 2011 my enemy and 2012 my new best friend, but since we are still in 2011... I'm going to live in the past one more day with this blog... then after this, i swear no more old pictures of what i used to look like thinner, no more crying about how it happened, none of that... you know what else is bothersome though? I got an adorable pink guitar from my little sister last Christmas, and haven't been able to play it, because my fingers are too fat! lol oh well... here i come 2012!

Finally A Surgery Update!

ok so originally this page was all about surgery and so on but lately there hasn’t really been much headway with the surgery to comment on. Sooooo…. Finally, I have finished my 3 month preparatory stage! Yea! i had to drive out to Tennessean yesterday for a stupid 10 minute appointment, BUT! the point is i did it and its over! Hooray, just one more regular doctors appointment and BAM! Im ready to go! Im not sure if anybody reads this but if you do whether pre op or post op, i hope i can help =)