starting my video blog

I made it to pre op!

So I'm here! made it to Tennessee for pre op testing, which means the count down to surgery has begun! In exactly 2 weeks I'll be in surgery on my way to a healthier, happier, more fulfilling life! I feel really comfortable with my surgeon, the hospital and everything plus I'll have about 2/3 of my huge family with me to keep me strong. Really right now I'm just thanking God for this blessing. Now I'm gonna go gush To my Facebook family!

2 weeks and 2 days left!

So I'm about 2 weeks away from surgery and I'm so excited. my pre op visit is set for Monday the 8th and i guess that's when i start my two week diet... I actually had my first skinny dream a couple of days ago, i was on a beach in my normal attire a tankini and a mumu like cover up dress that zipped up the front to hide myself. My best friend was with me (she weighs about as much as handful of quarters) and she kept begging me to take off my cover up and swim with her. in my dream I'm thinking Hell No lol. so she unzips it and rips it off me and i start sprinting to the bathroom. Got there looked in the mirror and everything was... smaller lol.... i was actually OK with wearing my bathing suit at a public beach... Ive been smiling ever since i had that dream. I've never felt i was missing out on much when it came to the fun of youth, i was always OK when my sisters would go to a club or a party without me, but now I'm starting to think that was my mind tricking me into being a hermit crap so that i could hide without thinking much of it. one thing i am having a problem with now is nerves. I don't think I'm nervous, really I'm just feeling excited, but underneath all my layers of denial my body is giving me sign that i really am nervous. All of a sudden my stomach is really weak, i want to sleep all the time, and i keep getting these random spats of my arms and legs going numb. My hands start to shake bad at night. i don't know if this is anxiety or if this is something actually happening to me. (Warning: Girly things are about to be talked about). because of my P.C.O.S (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) i probably have a cycle every 4-6 months. My OB says its likely  that i wont ever have children and that never really effected me either until now. I know I'm just spewing random things at this point but these are the thing that have been weighing heavy (no pun intended) on my mind. Anyway, i guess only time will tell, but i still cant wait! Until next time!

Finally! A Stroke of LUCK

so! guess what happened today, I GOT APPROVAL FOR SURGERY. that was hella fast! im not even supposed to know yet, but ants in the pants Renee had to call the doctors office to "tell them something"  **wink wink**... and she says, well that doesnt matter, you were already approved! HOORRRAAAAYYYYY.... so, whats next? i have no fricking clue... i went through all the trials and tribulations of the past 6 months and i,  had not one question... but now that the office is closed until tuesday im thinking of a million things i havent asked... im just gonna do a happy dance today though, because i worked extremly hard on something and it paid off for once! Hell Yea, so i guess i can start weighing and giving measurments just like all the cool blogs LOL... GOODNIGHT ANY UNLUCKY PERSON READING THIS.... 12 hour drive in exactly T - 3 hours.... PEACE!

Is this a sign?

So, im wondering if some almighty power is trying to tell me something, yet another set back today... i guess they make it hard for a reason. My Psych eval doctor just called to tell me that the 2 hour test to make sure I'm not crazy (or bulimic, anorexic, a murderer, or suicidal) is off! apparently hes charging 1020.00$ for it and insurance only cover about 225$ sooo.... that's a no, I'm sorry sir but I'm not gonna pay you a billion dollars to put me through strenuous testing for 3 hours!!! So, instead I'm hoping in my car driving all the way to Tennessee (AGAIN) to take the test there, where it only cost 250$ still not covered by insurance but way better than the alternative... My appointment is on the 24th i probably wont be saying to much until that's over, so again... Wish me luck!

P.S. Value options insurance SUCKS!

Finally A Surgery Update!

ok so originally this page was all about surgery and so on but lately there hasn’t really been much headway with the surgery to comment on. Sooooo…. Finally, I have finished my 3 month preparatory stage! Yea! i had to drive out to Tennessean yesterday for a stupid 10 minute appointment, BUT! the point is i did it and its over! Hooray, just one more regular doctors appointment and BAM! Im ready to go! Im not sure if anybody reads this but if you do whether pre op or post op, i hope i can help =)